your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
