I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
