She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
