Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i believe in u and ur pee
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
