Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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