I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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