dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
