these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
