I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
