i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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