Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
