Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
