I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
