I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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