We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
