Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
