im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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