oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
