if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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