Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
