If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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