I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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