Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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