just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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