Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
