i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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