doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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