Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
