Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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