Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
