I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize