If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
ok first of all what the fuck
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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