I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
