Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
