Where is the hickey?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
