can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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