I smell stomach acid.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
