i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
