Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
