is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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