I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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