How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize