I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I believe in your delicious
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
