eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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