At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
