The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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