So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
