so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
