Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize