I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Randomize
