I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
