He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
