I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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