Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
