yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
