Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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