We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
