remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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