Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do vagina's smell?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
