So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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