Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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